iWrite The Truth
by xxCastleFanxx
Summary: Oneshot. Three years after leaving Seattle, Sam writes a letter to Freddie telling him the real reason she left at seventeen. R&R Please. There may be a sequel some day of Freddie writing Sam.


**iWrite The Truth:**

Dear Fredward Benson,

I don't know if you'll ever get this letter, but I've wanted to write it for a long time. It's been three years since the last time I saw you. The three of us were seventeen then, Carly, You, and Me. iCarly was at the top of its game. There were more viewers than we ever imagined we would get. I remember how happy you were in those days. I hope to this day you still have that happiness. I sometimes wonder what became of you. You talked about college a lot. Did you ever take those computer classes? I bet you really made a name for yourself.

I really miss you Freddie. I don't know if you go by that name now but you'll always be Freddie to me. I know the last time I saw you we weren't getting along that great. Things changed a lot after middle school. When we hit high school both of us went through a lot of changes. You became much more than my dorkie friend. I remember that night Shane broke up with me. I cried for hours in your arms. It was just the two of us, alone in your apartment. You told me I was too beautiful for him. That I deserved someone that would treat me better. I'll never forget the way you kissed me that night. Nobody knew about the secret romance that had developed between us over the years. And even Carly never knew that I gave myself to you. You were my first Freddie, and my Last.

I still cry sometimes when I think of the last words you said to me. You told me you hated me Freddie. You looked me right in the eye and told me that. I know now that you really loved me. I know you always loved me. I wanted nothing more than to be with you. I wanted you to know that, but I could never bring myself to say it. I didn't want to ruin your life. You thought I left Seattle because I didn't love you, that I was ashamed of you. You were wrong Freddie. I loved you more than life itself. You were always there for me. Whenever I needed a shoulder to cry on, you were the first one in line. I only kept us a secret for your sake. Even your mom would have thought low of you. Everyone in Seattle pretty much wanted you with Carly. I even wanted you with her. I know now that I was not good for you.

The reason I am writing this letter is to tell you the truth. I lied to you, and everyone else when I said I was dropping out of high school and moving to New York to go to an acting school. I didn't throw away my life for what you think. Freddie I left Seattle to save you from the biggest shame of your life. You might want to brace yourself for what you are about to read. You might not even believe me Freddie, but I wont be able to sleep again until you know the truth. Freddie, I left Seattle because I was pregnant. You know you were the only one Freddie. It ate me up inside to think of how everyone would see you. It would have ruined every single one of your dreams. I would have never let that happen. I was three months along when I decided to leave. Luckily for me I wasn't starting to show. I went through a teen mom program and got my high school diploma.

You probably wonder why I didn't get an abortion. I actually thought about it, you know? But every single time I saw your face I thought of that life inside of me. And Freddie, I couldn't do it. I found a job on the outskirts in Seattle, working in a small coffee shop. The owner there is like a second mom to me. When my mom found out I was pregnant she flipped out. She said that I made all the same mistakes as her and that she didn't want to see me fail as a mother. She told me to get an abortion or get out. Linda took me in. I lived with her for a whole year. The night she was born Linda was in the hospital with me. The only one. She was a small baby. It was like holding a loaf of bread in my arms. She cried like crazy for the first half an hour. I thought I would go out of my mind. I tried everything to calm her down. I sang to her, I rocked her, but nothing worked. It wasn't until I started crying that she stopped. She looked up at me with those deep brown eyes, the same eyes as yours. I felt her grip my finger in her tiny hand. I thought about you. I thought about how you use to look at me that way. I thought about how I might never see you again, about how you'd never know how I felt about you.

I named her Hope. Hope Carly Benson. She's beautiful Freddie. She looks like you. Brown hair, big brown eyes, and she even has your nose. I spoil her to death. I buy her anything she wants. I don't make much money but I don't care. If I miss a payment on my car, I'd walk to the toy store on the other side of town to make my baby happy. I love her to death Freddie. She has everything. Everything but you. I haven't dated anyone Freddie, nobody. Every time I thought about dating I thought about my little girl. How she might think that whatever man it was was her father. I don't want that Freddie. My girl is turning three this year. I want her to know who her real father is. Who the most amazing person in the world is.

She's a great girl Freddie. She has the laugh of an angel, and a smile to die for. Every time I look at her I think of you. I think of the one thing that's missing in my life. You might have moved on from me Freddie. You might even have a wife and kids. The one thing I don't want is to ruin your life Freddie. And I would understand completely if you don't ever want to see your baby. I'd even agree to take all the required tests to prove to you that this child is yours. You'd love her Freddie.

I know this is all a big surprise to you so I'm gonna end this letter now. The last thing I'd like to say is thank you. Thank you so much Freddie for giving me the most precious gift I could ever get. I wont ask for child support. Or any kind of help. All I want is for you to love her. Love her Freddie, because I don't want my baby to grow up like I did. Without her father. You know too, how that feels. I love you Freddie. I always have, and always will.

-Sam.

**A/N: I don't know where I got the idea but it just seemed to fit. I might write a letter to Sam from Freddie some day too. Or even make them meet up and have him meet the baby but I'm not sure. I hope you liked my little letter.**


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